Metamorphosis
by Jennifer Collins
Summary: "Damn, girl. You are one badass chick," he murmured, so low that she had to strain to hear him. But she heard it. And a slow smile started to spread across her face because she supposed she was. Carol's always had a special place in her life for the men that were woven into it.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This story may get dark at times and is rated M because it deals with things such as alcoholism, domestic abuse, death, and implied rape.

Carol Duncan's earliest memory was of her father, lifting her high up into the air and blinking as her brown corkscrew curls fell into his face. They'd laughed together and he'd hauled her up onto his shoulders in front of the mirror, pointing at the glass and telling her how beautiful she was.

He pretended to throw her into the air and she squealed happily, knowing that he would never really let her fall. "Silly. I love you, daddy."

"I love you too, baby girl," he said, drawing her in close and kissing her cheek.

She was only four years old at the time, but she remembered that she'd pretty much been Daddy's Little Princess her entire life. She never felt so special, so precious as when he was around, and she always thought that she would never, ever love another man as much as she loved her father.

She wasn't much older than that the first time her heart was broken, and she tried to forget the day that her mama had come to her class at school to tell her that her daddy was gone. He'd been killed in a car crash, hit by a drunk driver. She didn't know what "drunk" was, but she already knew she hated it.

XXXXX

Carol wasn't sure exactly how she'd come to be labeled "odd," but by the time she'd hit middle school, apparently that's what she was. She didn't totally mind, figuring that staying out of the drama would be the best way to keep her grades up. Mostly, she just kept to herself and never bothered anyone. And no one really bothered with her, until her first encounter with Eddie Peletier.

She knew who he was, of course. Not that she particularly cared about sports, but he was a linebacker and football was a very important sport in her town. So when she saw the familiar dark brown eyes and head of slightly shaggy brown hair in the middle of the hall that day, she recognized him instantly.

She'd been rushing to the art room to turn in her project on time, when she'd accidentally bumped into a broad shoulder and fell over, spilling her books across the hall. She'd barely had enough time to mutter an embarrassed apology before Butch Henderson was cursing loudly as he stumbled over her books.

"Clumsy, much?" The large teen spat out angrily, eyes narrowed.

Her eyes were wide as she fumbled to gather up her belongings from under other people's feet.

"Hey, I was talkin' to you, freak-erella. Why don't you watch where you're going?" Butch pressed.

"Why don't you just shut up and leave her alone?" Eddie said in a cool, even voice behind his friend.

"Who asked you?"

Ed nudged the bigger guy with his elbow. "What, you're into pickin' on girls now, ya big bully?" He bent down to pick up the last of her books.

Her rounded eyes met his as she eagerly accepted them. "Thanks," she said in a quiet voice.

He shrugged in response.

She stood abruptly, adjusting the strap of her backpack on her shoulder and mumbling a quick "Sorry," over her shoulder as she hurried off. It was years before she'd speak to Eddie Peletier again.

XXXXX

It wasn't until they were juniors that Ed found out what it was like to not have anyone to talk to. She'd heard all the gossip from the week before and she knew that his father had died. She didn't usually trust gossip that was passed through the halls, but she'd known enough about the Peletiers to know that his dad getting beaten to death in a bar fight was probably accurate information.

His friends had been ignoring him all week since he'd been back in school. She figured that was just because people didn't know what to say, so they didn't say anything. Even still, Carol had always been a compassionate person and she never forgot that time he was nice to her.

So when she saw him sitting on the steps outside by himself, it really didn't take that much for her to approach him.

"Hey," she said softly as she stood awkwardly above him.

He looked up, squinting slightly in the sunlight. "Hey," He answered, sounding surprised.

"I just wanted to say…. I'm sorry about your father," She said gently. "My dad's gone too. I know what it's like… to not have anyone."

"Thanks," He said with a nod. "It's Carol, right?"

"Duncan, yeah."

He appeared lost in thought for a moment as he watched his friends goofing off across the parking lot. Finally, he looked back up at her. "Can I drive you home, Carol Duncan?" He asked with a lopsided grin.

She smiled back. "Yeah, sure."


	2. Chapter 2

One day after school, Ed stopped Carol when she was halfway to the edge of the lawn. He placed a hand on her elbow, gently tugging her off to the side.

She gazed at him with an eyebrow raised in a questioning glance. He produced a small bouquet of half a dozen yellow roses from behind his back and she giggled.

He frowned in frustration as he watched her laugh.

"You're giving me flowers?" She asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah," he said. "Don't girls like that sorta thing? If you don't want 'em, I'll just take 'em back," he continued with a slight scowl on his face.

"No, no, I want them!" She protested, her face lighting up. "Yellow is my favorite color."

"I know," he said, his face softening as he reached out to tuck a loose strand of curly hair behind her ear.

"They're beautiful, really," she said with a sincere smile.

"You're beautiful," he responded quietly.

She lowered her face into the flowers to hide the blush that had spread across her cheeks.

"I was just gonna ask…. we've been hanging out a lot lately," Ed began, a little shyly. "And well, I was wonderin'…. If…. If you wanted to go steady."

"Um, yeah," Carol answered, nodding slowly. "Yeah, we could do that."

"Great," He said, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "C'mon, I'll drive you home."

XXXXX

It took a couple of weeks before Ed screwed up enough courage to finally kiss her. And really, she'd been the one to initiate all the hand holding in the hallways. He'd walk her to class as usual and mumble a hasty departing statement before shuffling awkwardly away.

So it took her completely by surprise when one afternoon as they stood in front of her door after he'd walked her up from the car, he'd raised a hand to place on her cheek.

She looked up at him with wide, anticipating eyes and he leaned closer, closing his eyes before placing a soft, tentative kiss on her lips. They were both smiling shyly when he pulled away.

XXXXX

Carol soon found that she liked having a boyfriend who had a car. The walk between the high school and her house was never a fun one to do at the end of the day with all her books weighing heavy in her backpack. Not that she ever had to carry that anymore, because Eddie was more than content to do it for her.

One day as he was pulling up to her curb, she noticed that her mother's car wasn't in the driveway. He was already reaching into the backseat to grab her bag when she turned to him with a pleading expression on her face. "Wanna come inside and wait with me for a minute?"

Ed nodded as he pulled the key from the ignition. He knew she didn't like to be in the house alone because she'd told him as much on several occasions.

They stepped inside and she frowned when she found a note from her mother on the kitchen table saying that she'd be working really late and not to wait for dinner.

Ed shrugged. "I'll take you out if you want. My treat."

She smiled. "Let's go up to my room and get our homework done first."

They bounded up the stairs, but Ed set both backpacks on the floor once they entered her room. He looked around thoughtfully, made a few teasing comments about her collection of stuffed animals before plopping down on her bed.

She leaped after him, swatting him playfully until her grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head as he leaned over her.

She looked up at him, prepared to retort with a sarcastic comment but he leaned his head down, covering her mouth with his. She gasped a little in surprise and he moved his position until he was on top of her, and she sort of liked the feel of his weight.

She closed her eyes as they kissed, tilted her head back as he lowered his mouth down her neck, nipping lightly and sucking her collar bone. She became acutely aware of the face that he was rolling her shirt up. She uttered a breathless "Wait," as he skimmed his hands up her sides and across her ribs.

"Relax," he whispered, still continuing his assault on her neck as he slipped his hands under her bra.

She wrote about it in her diary after he left and smiled at her reflection in the mirror when she noticed the rather large hickey on her skin, figuring she'd better change into a turtleneck before her mom got home.


	3. Chapter 3

Carol had never felt like a princess the way she did the night of her prom. Her mother had spent four hours fussing over her dress, hair and makeup, telling her stories about her own prom the whole time. They didn't usually talk about her father, but Carol found herself smiling at the sweet memories.

When Ed came to pick her up in his Chevy, Mrs. Duncan took a whole roll of pictures of the two of them before letting her daughter know how she proud she was. Carol wasn't sure if it was because she finally conceded to wearing her mother's pearl earrings, or if it was because she was dating a linebacker.

An hour into the event and Carol found herself having to hide her smile at Ed's awkward attempts at keeping in time to the music. She could see him getting visibly frustrated at himself, so she bit her lip to keep from laughing. With a hasty sigh, he informed her that they were invited to an after party at Butch's house. She didn't particularly want to go, but he was so excited about it that she didn't have the heart to tell him no.

There was beer and pizza at Butch's house. Carol didn't want to drink, but she was pretty sure she'd seen Ed take a sip or two. She was busy figuring out whether or not it was appropriate to tell your boyfriend that you didn't like his friends when he took her hand and led her down the hall to the back of the house. They ducked into an empty room and she was glad for the privacy.

"Lame party," Ed muttered under his breath.

"Yeah," she agreed.

He turned to her, raising a hand to gently caress her face. "You look like an angel," he told her.

She smiled shyly.

He leaned towards her, tilting her head up to kiss her softly.

She kissed him back, nestling into him and letting him hold her close. After a moment, she felt his hands at her back, slowly sliding the zipper of her dress down. She pulled back abruptly, her eyes wide open in alarm.

"Sssh," he whispered softly.

"Won't someone come in here?" She fretted.

He shook his head. "Door's locked. It's fine. I figured you'd wanna get more comfortable." He sat down on the bed, patting the space next to him.

She hesitated for a few moments before moving to join him. "I still have curfew," she reminded him.

He nodded, leaning in to kiss her again. "We'll be back in plenty of time."

She let him lower her into the mattress, his hands moving through the soft brown curls piled on top of her head. He sighed happily as they kissed, slowly moving to slide the loosened dress off her shoulders.

"Ed…. " She started. She blushed furiously at the way he was looking at her in her underwear as he shrugged out of his jacket.

"You liked it when I touched you the last time," he reminded her as his hands roamed her body.

She shivered under his touch. He moved his mouth down her throat but didn't stop, kissing down her chest and moving the cup of her bra aside so he could put his mouth to her breast.

She felt him hard against her hip and a wave of panic rushed through her. "We should- we should wait," she whispered softly.

"For what?" He asked.

"We don't even have a condom," she replied.

He reached into his pocket. "I've got one right here," he pressed.

"I've never done that before," she told him.

He shrugged. "Neither have I. I'll go slow, won't hurt ya," he insisted, tugging the zipper down on his pants.

"I don't…. I don't know…."

"C'mon. Please, Carol. Please," he murmured into her ear as he pressed against her. It was over in four thrusts and she did her best to avoid his calls after that.

XXXXX

It was years before she talked to him again. She graduated high school, took some college courses and earned her teaching certificate before she saw him again. Her mother's car had broken down on the highway and Carol brought it into the mechanic's shop for her.

She kind of knew where he worked, as it was a small town, but she'd long ago put him at the back of her mind and was genuinely surprised to see him behind the counter. He'd gotten the car fixed up in no time and they made small talk for a little while before he asked her out for coffee. She didn't have anything better to do, so she agreed.

Six months later and she was shocked to see him sitting next to her mother on the sofa when she got home from work one night.

"Ed, what are you doing here?" She asked, the surprise evident on her face.

"I was just talkin' to your mama here. Was gonna wait til it was just the two of us, but well, your ma has agreed to let me ask you to marry me."

Her mouth dropped open and she raised a hand to her face to cover it. Her mother was close to tears as she sat beaming with pride with her hand over her heart. What else could she say now?

"You won't regret it," He whispered to her later that night as they sat on the back porch, gazing up at the moon. He took her hand in his and raised it to his lips, pressing a kiss into his grandmother's diamond on her ring finger. "I'm gonna make you so happy, darlin.' You'll be my queen, you'll see."

She really, really wanted to believe him.


	4. Chapter 4

She'd long ago forgotten the circumstances that caused it to happen the first time. Try as she might, she couldn't remember why the back of his hand had stricken her across her face. She remembered the sting, though. The near instant bruising, the tangy taste of blood in her mouth.

He'd let out a strangled cry, as if it was he who couldn't recognize himself in that moment. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he'd whispered, the tears soaking her cheek as his lips grazed along her jaw as he hugged her tightly from behind.

"It'll never happen again, I promise."

XXXXX

For the seventeenth day in a row, Carol sat by herself at the kitchen table with her chin in her hand. The pot of pasta that was still on the stove had long since grown cold. The clock ticked the seconds away mockingly, just like the clock in her mother's kitchen used to do when she was home alone.

It was well after ten when he came strolling in, slamming the door behind him and setting his tool bag on the floor with a loud clang.

"Hey, baby," He said with a lopsided grin on his face. "Miss me?" He made a move for her hand, but she jerked it away.

"Where were you?" She asked coldly, her expression stoic.

He shrugged. "What you mean, where was I? Ya know I been workin' late."

They sat in silence for awhile until she finally rose up to heat up the pot for him. She made herself busy at the counter, intentionally ignoring him until he shouted a long string of angry curses.

"Are you cheating on me, Ed?" She asked calmly.

With a roar, he grabbed her bicep roughly, yanking her around to face him.

She wrinkled her nose against the pungent smell of alcohol on his breath.

"How dare you? Crazy bitch!" He shouted. "You don't get to tell me what! Remember your place, or you'll be sorry. I promise you that!"

Carol had come to learn that there were some promises he made good on.

XXXXX

"You know Joan, from my book club?" She asked softly, her eyes darting up to meet his across the table.

He grunted, gazing briefly at her over the Sunday paper before turning the page with a loud rustle.

Carol bit her lip. "She suggested marriage counseling. Who knows? I think it could work."

He picked up his mug, slamming it back down again and frowning when some coffee spilled over the top. "I think Joan from book club has got a lot to say. She should mind her own business." He gestured to the spilled liquid. "You gonna clean that up, or what?"

XXXXX

It was somewhere around the time Ed lost his job that she stopped being "Honey" or "Baby" and started being "Bitch" and "Whore."

Despite the name calling, she tried to encourage him, figuring that a good wife would be supportive of her husband. Eventually he did find another job and she soon found that she didn't mind the nights that he worked late. It was nice to be able to go to her book club without having to answer about where she'd been. Hell, it was even nice to go to the grocery store in peace.

Ed usually came home drunk. She'd learned to stop asking questions about where'd he'd been after work. The ever familiar stench on his breath was more than enough answer. Once, she'd tried to tell him, "I wish you didn't drink so much." He'd responded with a firm "Shut the fuck up." They didn't discuss his beer habits after that.

XXXXX

One Friday, Carol waited in the kitchen until 11:15. A sick feeling had started to settle in the pit of her stomach, so she started to call him. He didn't answer his phone and she knew he'd be pissed if the number of missed calls from her on his screen reached too high, so she retired to the bedroom.

She curled up into a ball between the sheets, the pillow wet under her face, and apologized to God for all the irritated thoughts she'd had about her husband. The bed was cold without him no matter how many blankets she wrapped around herself as she watched the minutes change on the digital alarm clock settled on his nightstand.

It was after midnight when she heard the front door slam and she froze, wondering briefly what kind of a mood he'd be in.

The door to the bedroom creaked open and she was so relieved that she didn't care, rushing to him and throwing her arms around his neck.

"Happy to see me?" He murmured, stroking the back of her hair.

As was becoming usual, he reeked of alcohol and the overwhelming smell threatened to turn her stomach. He leaned down to kiss her, but she pulled away.

"Hey, come 'ere," He cooed, following after her.

"Ed, it's late," she said gently, pulling up the sheets and burrowing under them. "Let's just go to bed."

He plopped down ungracefully, and she rolled over to the edge of the bed, not facing him.

He moved his hand to her hip and she stayed still, hoping he would think she'd already fallen asleep. His breath was hot on her face as he planted sloppy kisses along her neck and she turned her head into the pillow, hiding her nose but exposing more of her throat to his hungry mouth.

He moved one hand under her shirt, groping roughly at her breasts until her nipples hardened. His knee jammed between her legs, urging them apart.

"Not now," she breathed.

His other hand slid into the waistband of her pajama pants, slipping into her panties and rubbing between her legs. "Your panties are wet, slut. Don't tell me you don't want it, you dirty whore."

She squeezed her eyes shut when she heard him tug down the zipper on his jeans, wondering how the hell this was happening.


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you sure?" She asked nervously, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

"Oh, I'm sure," Dr. Gracie said, her mouth forming a gentle smile. "You're definitely pregnant."

She frowned, her mind racing with a million different ways she could put it to Ed, but the imagined outcome was always the same. She placed a hand to her stomach, feeling as if she might vomit again. It was the first time she'd ever been afraid of what he would do to her.

XXXXX

As it turned out, Ed was thrilled with the news. "Are you serious?" He'd asked emotionally.

She nodded, watching him carefully.

"Honey, that's great!" He said, actually reaching out and lifting her up into the air. "We're gonna be parents!"

She smiled slowly as the reality completely sank in for the first time.

XXXXX

Ed spent the weekends painting the extra bedroom for a nursery. He made the walls a pale yellow, her favorite. Carol would watch curiously from the hallway until the smell of the fresh paint was too much for her.

She watched with raised eyebrows as his whole personality changed. He'd tell her every so often how she'd make a great mother and he couldn't wait for their little one to arrive.

He started coming straight home after work. Sometimes he'd compliment her cooking. He still smelled like beer every now and then, but she couldn't help noticing that he was drinking much less.

He also smiled more, and not the sick, drunken grins that she'd grown accustomed to seeing on his lips. These were real, genuine smiles, the kind that reached his eyes and made him look ten years younger. She soon found herself smiling back.

XXXXX

After twelve and half hours of labor, Ed swore that Carol was the toughest woman he'd ever met. He sat beside her on the hospital bed as they held their daughter for the first time.

They named her Sophia, after his favorite aunt. They'd fought several times over what to name their child. Carol wasn't too keen on naming the baby after someone. She'd preferred to use an original name and hope that her daughter would grow into her own person, but it really was a beautiful name and after the first time she'd spoken it aloud, she couldn't think of anything else she'd rather call their child.

"Things are gonna be different," he murmured into her hair as she clutched at the baby. "I'm gonna be a better husband, and a great dad to this little princess, you'll see," he promised.

She really wished that he never promised her anything.

XXXXX

One of Sophia's favorite things to do as she got older was run her hands through her mother's curls, pretending to play beauty salon.

"How long do you think it'll take my hair to grow as long as yours?" She asked curiously as they played on the floor.

"Oh, about two hundred years!" Carol answered, laughing at Sophia's dubious expression.

"When I grow up, I wanna be as pretty as you, Mama," Sophia said, throwing her arms around her mother's neck.

"Pfft," Ed snorted from the couch. He raised the remote to change the channel on the tv, not looking at either one of them. "You already are much prettier, darlin.'"

XXXXX

"Don't you think them jeans are too tight?" Ed asked with a snort. "'Specially for someone's ma to be wearin?'"

Carol shrugged.

"I don't like the way Mr. Jacobsen next door was lookin' at ya. It's your fault, you know. Dressin' like a slut. That what you want, tempting other men?"

Carol laughed. "Mr. Jacobsen is eighty years old, Ed! I hardly think he's interested in me."

The blow came unexpectedly hard from the left. She was still rubbing her jaw when he yanked her hair back, wrapping her long curls around his wrist and tugging hard.

The next day, she was trembling angrily as she chopped onions on a cutting board. Without thinking, she raised the knife and hacked off a large chunk of chestnut brown curls.

She immediately covered her mouth with her hands, checking the clock on the wall through teary eyes to make sure there was enough time to get to the salon before she had to pick Sophia up from school.

Sophia cried when she saw her mother's new 'do, and Carol cried too.

"That looks hideous, you know," Ed grunted when he got home from work.

"I know," she whispered.

XXXXX

Most days, she decided that as long as it didn't affect Sophia, that everything was okay. After all, he was generally nice to her and she didn't want her daughter growing up without a father like she had to.

Some days were worse than others.

After a particularly bad night, she decided that she could leave. She would talk to her mother, see about moving back in temporarily until she started working again. She would be okay on her own with their daughter, as long as Sophia was okay. No matter what she had to do, she would make it work.

Carol was on her way to their bedroom to tell him that she was leaving, that she already had a bag packed. She stopped in the hall when she heard Sophia's voice and peered in through the open door.

Sophia was giggling loudly, bouncing up and down on her daddy's shoulders as he twirled in front of the mirror. "I love you, daddy!" She squealed happily.

Ed looked up, catching Carol's gaze in the mirror. "I love you too, princess," He said with a wink.

She fled from the room, pressing her back against the wall and sinking slowly to the floor as she buried her face in her folded arms.


End file.
